I have special powers, and every time I say that I hear a slight chuckle from an unbeliever
I have special powers, I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true
Science fiction would have you to think that special powers includes
Me being able to read your mind, or me being able to create fire balls
Perhaps me being able to see through or run through walls
I can't do any of that, but I can change your whole attitude as your eyes scan past each word I've written
When I pour all of me to a white canvas and display all my flaws I can comfort you without a physical connection
I can kiss your soul with a very descriptive adjective and I can rattle your nerves with a provoking statement
I have special powers!
I made him cry with a sentence from my last poem, it hurt to the point of tears
And I never touched him, a special power
I gave her a letter I wrote five years ago and it empowered her get up get out and do something
My mind and my words change lives, a special power
And everyday God reminds me now to not abuse this power for at any second it can be taken away
I challenged God eight years ago and wrote a poem he told me to never write
She killed her self after reading the best poem a eleventh grader could put together
Art I declared, but it was the knife in her heart
And while I found it hilarious and cool to make others laugh
She ran home and ingested 10 pills from her mothers medicine cabinet
The news made it back to me everything I thought I knew about my gift was confirmed
Special powers to provoke life and death
But God blocked it all, he took away my special powers for two years
I suffered night after night unable to write at all
I was powerless, I hated living, I was .... normal
It was at the end of my second year after being unable to create any work of art
I demanded God's presence in my life and I struck the deal of a lifetime
You give me back my powers and I'll use them in your name
We shook on it and every since that day, I have held my end of the bargain
So I have special powers whether you believe or not.
And if it is still funny to you, allow me to show you what I can do in the name of Jesus

I bought balloons and cake for the pity party I threw for myself yesterday
Of the many men I ran over and through, the one I tried to be right for feels played
I allowed him to meet the real me, something I rarely do and he turns his back
Extremely hurt I am not, slightly disappointed my be an accurate description
Even though I can assure you that tomorrow I'll forget his name, today I feel...bad
So this is the emotion I am facing right now in this very moment and its killing me
This is the same feeling I run from and blinded by an anticipated future, I was unable to see this coming
I thought this was real...
I didn't send out any invites to my pity party because it is a private affair
The helium filled balloon gravitated to the top of my ceiling and I had an idea
Perhaps I should tie all my real feelings to each string and release the balloon into the atmosphere
In the middle of this process the Holy Spirit spoke to me and I paused
He whispered to my tattered heart, don't stop feeling...or else you won't feel me
So I gathered my feelings, even the ones that were injured in this whole experience and...
I put them away..
No longer located on my sleeve, my feelings and emotions lie hidden and there they shall stay
That is until I find he that is receptive to all I am and all I have to give
Until that time, I will continue doing what was working, which was masking the true me
And doing all that is necessary to avoid getting hurt...
-DFitz

I fucked up

I fucked up, excuse my french but I fucked up

And I am constantly wondering why I can't luck up

I get sucked into the daily dramas trying to avoid being a mama

But here I am looking down like what do I do now

But the answers not on the ground its on this round

Pink dot that lay on the test and now I'm thinking what next

What do I expect from a night of unprotected sex

I'm a statistic and now they will point and laugh

They will laugh at the big belly I have

Or have not, the test might be wrong..right

Did he really nut in me that night, but the sex was out of site

Had my mind gone as we grinded all night long

On and on, his moans my groans, its known

That he is married to this white chick Carrie

Who has carried three of his five kids

So thats what it is, I live in the fizz

A painful carbonation or life's hesitation

To serve me with relations just face 'em

But I face shit and the shit I face is the shit I taste

Which becomes the shit I try to erase so it may be misplaced

Yet there is a track of shit that continues to follow me

And now this shit is obviously showing the flaws of me

Because there is a pink dot or is it blue

Is this test new or is it through

And I hold in my hand the test of life

The test which I know is 99% right

It proof of the life I have lived and now the life I must give

A life full of secrects and fibs, for a life of bottles and bibs

To me this is all scary, I tell him, he tells Carrie

Carrie will stay married for he's done it two other times with Mary

And Mary and I are only his sex substitutions, welcome to my life of confusion

Now I work on this illusion and bring about some defusion

The pink dot does not deserve a life so corrupt

Damn, I fucked up, I fucked up

-DFitz

Write is Right

I thought about you today, but then I thought about me

I thought about them, then I thought about we

How we use to hang, how we use to be

How I use smile everytime I would hear you sing

How we use to fight and make up in the end

How you were my only and my one true friend

The way you use cook for me can never for get that

Out in the streets we had each other's back

I was your Frick you were my Frack

You was the coke with my bottle of Jack

I'd give a lung to bring you back

I gave my heart as a matter of fact

But I take it all in stride, the hurt I try to hide

Cause everytime I think about it apart of me dies

You could've told me, could've should've but decline

Can't take back what left with the time

But I must admit in the back of mind

Still wishing that you was mine....

And with the days passing by it get a little easier

Niggas compliment me it get a little easier

I don't see your face, it gets a little easier

But the chick that got your mind, got me wishing I was her

You will always be the one that got the best of me

But I guess it will be one to get the rest of me

And hopefully I can make the rest of a bit of more appealing

They will appreciate the real me...

Never mind that, just wanna let you know

It was never my choice to ever let you go

But now its my choice to let you go

I love you but I love me more...

-DFitz

I try to write as if its not me but my internal desires and my eternal fires seem to poke through and show themselves
I fiend for attention and all I do to get it is retreat into my own thoughts and hope someone sees me
Backwards is my front and the only way I can read any of your thoughts is through the mirrors reflections
I gather that if I could ever be normal then i would be that of famous so I'm told
But spot light shows flaws and I don't have enough make up to hide them all so I sit in my room...under a lamp
Enough light for those around me to see that I'm more than they but its not for all to know
We use to be in love and then he said he'd had enough of my weirdness so he took his bag and left
He said that he was going to find normal because I was too outside the box for him...he's lonely in my world
He told me that playing in the play grounds of my mind was too much of a hassle and he needed something easy
I simple replied that his place was never in my mind, but in my heart and I'm sorry if he got lost in my thoughts...I do it too sometimes
It never made him stay rather easier to go and I was back to the feeling I am so use to, that of being alone
The well of tears that use to pour through when I tried convincing my self to be like everyone else has dried
The only thing that makes my eyes water is the end of Hope Floats because I'm reminded that my life is fine just the way it is
What is suppose to happen to me has and what is to happen will come
And so what if I like peanut butter and ketchup sandwiches, it taste great
So I like sniffing new purses, the smell of fresh leather is amazing
I challenge you to be you and not conform to what society says that you should be
I became more than what I was labeled and took the title of CEO and have been full stride ever since
But I regret to inform you that I only travel as far as the rays from the lamp in my room
Only those close to me see my potential and comfort comes when I sniff leather while eating a peanut butter and ketchup sandwich
And one day when I am perfect, I will get out of the peanut butter and ketchup to the speed of my thoughts
I will acknowledge the reason i have so many strips on my back is from the same leather of pain I love to smell
It reminds me to be strong and to never let life beat me down
One day I will find he that enjoys the playground of my mind and doesn't feel alone rather at home in my thoughts
I accept that I am different have you?

Marry Me

My only prayer was that he see how much I loved him
The only tears that ever escaped his eyes was that of loneliness, pain, and fear
I tasted all three
I held his hand through those times when the only way he'd look at his reflection with through the glare in my eyes
I kissed his heart when she tried her best to crush it, I mended it back together with my prayers
And it was me who used my love as ointment to ease the pain of rejection, I never left his side
And then he calls me last week with the excitement in his voice she wants him back
And this time...Its for good! Married he says, they are to be wed and he'd like me at the court house
Three tears escaped my eyes and I tasted those too
With my heart on the floor, I dressed yesterday to again support his happiness
I stopped at BP to gas my trip to pure heart ache and disappointment
And then I arrived at my doom's day, the day I watch the love of my life marry his very destruction
So I walk through the doors every step harder and harder to take
I look for the signs to direct me to my internal hell and it is on the second floor
I proceed into the elevator shacking and nervous, not even sure why I came
The doors open to his smiling face, him dressed in the finest tux he could afford
He looked great and I smiled too to show my support
My lip trembled as he grabbed my hand excited, "This is it!"
If I had of spoke, I would've cried so all I did was smile harder
We walked through the large oak doors and there stood...his brother...his parents
My sisters, my parents and a judge...
He turned to me on one knee and said..."Marry Me!"

Sunday NightLife at Grand Central

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