I bought balloons and cake for the pity party I threw for myself yesterday
Of the many men I ran over and through, the one I tried to be right for feels played
I allowed him to meet the real me, something I rarely do and he turns his back
Extremely hurt I am not, slightly disappointed my be an accurate description
Even though I can assure you that tomorrow I'll forget his name, today I feel...bad
So this is the emotion I am facing right now in this very moment and its killing me
This is the same feeling I run from and blinded by an anticipated future, I was unable to see this coming
I thought this was real...
I didn't send out any invites to my pity party because it is a private affair
The helium filled balloon gravitated to the top of my ceiling and I had an idea
Perhaps I should tie all my real feelings to each string and release the balloon into the atmosphere
In the middle of this process the Holy Spirit spoke to me and I paused
He whispered to my tattered heart, don't stop feeling...or else you won't feel me
So I gathered my feelings, even the ones that were injured in this whole experience and...
I put them away..
No longer located on my sleeve, my feelings and emotions lie hidden and there they shall stay
That is until I find he that is receptive to all I am and all I have to give
Until that time, I will continue doing what was working, which was masking the true me
And doing all that is necessary to avoid getting hurt...
-DFitz